Art...

What an odd thing to be coming back to a long blogging absence to be annoyed by you might say, but seriously, what is our government playing at?

I was listening intently to the Stephen Nolan show this morning, as I'm sure many of you do, and this doll called Rita something or other came on to say, and I quote (I think) verbatim...

"Art is the only thing that will get the world out of this"

The "this" she referred to was the mire that is the world we live in. The chaos in the middle east, the financial crises that engulf the western world, war, famine, injustice. She referred to everything and more being "solved" by simply appreciating Art? Now I love art, don't get this article confused with an attack on art because it simply is not, I love it. (When they re-opened the Ulster Museum on Stranmillis I was one of the first through the doors on the re-opening day) and apart from the painting being horrendous the rest of the exhibitions were great. (They have now put better paintings in THANK GOODNESS!)

But I do have a problem with someone who thinks Art can solve all our problems, and to hell with the costs. What a completely looney idiot! She went on to say that Art is reflecting people back on themselves, so they can learn from and move forward from their mistakes. Excellent idea Madame, I must remember to pack my statue of Col. Muammar Gaddaffi executing one of his own people next time I travel to Libya. I'm sure when he stands back and appreciates the grandeur of my design, he will instantly see the error of his ways, apologise and make way for the next elected leader.

Then I can wake up and have my cornflakes.

Rita, if anyone sees this who knows you, I hope they hit you a quare slap! Ridiculous notions and ideals will not save the planet, however much you "appreciate" art!

The above part is just the scene setter for this rant by the way, I'm getting to the point now. The Newry and Mourne council have just spent £50,000, yes FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS on a stupid statue of some fishermen for Kilkeel. Now I'm no fiscal expert, far from it, but are they mental? What councillors are making these decisions? If I had 50K sitting around I wouldn't be putting it in a flipping well art exhibition. Surely the Newry and Mourne council have better things to spend money on?

A country on it's knees financially, cuts going every which way, hitting everyone, and here's the councils throwing money at some la-tee-da notion of Art improving the state of the tourist industry in Kilkeel? I doubt it very much. When they decide on their next topic I will submit my tender and design them a wee plaque that says this...



"NEWRY AND MOURNE COUNCIL. MONEY WASTERS EXTRAORDINAIRE SINCE 2011"


Oh, and because it will be etched on 24 Carat Gold and decorated in Diamonds and Rubies, it will automatically become "Art" and will cost them £200,000 for the priviledge. Which given their current run of form with their finances I imagine they will think is fantastic value.


The Lunatics have well and truly taken over the asylum, burnt it, and built a monstrosity of a housing development on it.

And even now, they are suffering from negative equity. Fantastic.